The Cosy Seaside Chocolate Shop Page 24
‘That’s good. I’m so pleased to hear that. Do you need an extra pair of hands with those tables and chairs?’ Em offered.
‘No, you’re fine, thanks. I know you’ve still a lot to do here ’cos you’ll probably need to make up some more supplies for the shop tomorrow. We’re looking a bit like Old Mother Hubbard’s here, after today.’
‘True.’
The shop was then quiet. Em headed to the kitchen and started making some gourmet chocolate bars. Whilst she was melting the chocolate callets and getting the moulds out ready, her mind began replaying her conversation with Holly. Something nagged her inside.
Some things were worth fighting for. Some things were too important not to put right. It wasn’t just Holly who was miserable. Emma had been hiding her sore, sore heart for weeks now.
So, Max may not want to see her or speak to her, but she at least had to try. As fast as she could she filled the moulds, slightly slapdash compared to her usual careful crafting, left them on the side to cool and ran upstairs.
45
‘Come on, Alfie. We’re off boy.’
Emma grabbed her handbag, making sure her phone and purse were in it, and the T-shirt she’d quickly scribbled on as a last-minute idea. After letting Alfie into the boot, she set off to where her heart was pulling her.
It felt right, what she had to do and maybe what she should have done a couple of weeks ago.
Max hadn’t phoned. She had tried sending a couple more texts just this morning, but he hadn’t responded. But that didn’t mean it was a lost cause, not yet. He was just hurting. She couldn’t just let him slip away like that, without even trying to fully explain. She felt all wrong, had done ever since that crazy kiss with Nate. She’d been having trouble sleeping, she’d been off her food. Her soul felt sore with it all.
The traffic was frustratingly slow, with all the holidaymakers filing back southward after their weekend away or day out. And then there was a tractor holding everything up. As she finally turned off at the exit, she knew she was only twenty minutes away from Max’s house, and she couldn’t hold back the surge of hope that raced through her.
‘Not far now, Alfie,’ she called over her shoulder, ‘then you can have a runabout in Max’s garden.’
She kept going, driving on autopilot, whilst trying to frame the words she wanted to say and testing out phrases of love and apology. Then there they were, turning off for Max’s village just before the town of Hexham. Driving down country lanes, passing the first cottages of the village, the old schoolhouse now converted to a residence, the village green, the pub. The stone cottages of Max’s row, his at the far end. She felt a bit light-headed.
It was now after 8.00, but she couldn’t see Max’s Jeep outside. Could he still be working? Visiting his parents maybe? Popped out for a takeaway dinner? Damn, she hadn’t thought about him not being there. Oh well, she’d just have to sit and wait a while. She had a bottle of water in the car. She could give Alfie a drink, and then maybe take him for a stroll around the village.
She sat in the car for five minutes, then thought she might as well go and knock on the door in case Max was actually in and there was some reason why his Jeep wasn’t outside. Alfie had a little run around the front garden and she knocked and rang the doorbell. No answer. She tried the door. Locked. She’d have to just be patient.
It was still light, so Em took Alfie for a wander around the village. It was an idyllic place, set in the Tyne valley. Cream-stone cottages bordered a village green that had a big old oak tree on it. A quaint pub was set to one side of the green, and there was a church and a small village shop. She passed another dog walker with a terrier who barked repeatedly at Alfie, before they settled down and sniffed each other. The owner, a middle-aged lady, said a polite hello to Emma, adding, ‘Nice evening.’
‘Yes, it’s lovely.’
Then they both moved on.
The sun was bleaching everything blond with that lovely soft summer evening light, it was still warm, and the gnats were out. A fat bumblebee buzzed by, then Emma watched it land on a beautiful yellow rambling-rose that was climbing a cottage wall. It was a peaceful, pretty place. Emma could see why Max liked it.
She headed back along the road to his house; damn, still no sign of any vehicle. Well she wasn’t going to head home just like that after making her mind up to see him and speak with him. She’d just have to sit it out until he came back. An hour passed. She wished she’d brought a book along or something to occupy her, but she’d dashed out, not really thinking. She was feeling a bit stiff sitting there in the car. Another thirty minutes passed, and the sun was starting to set over the distant hills, softening their outlines with a dusky orange glow.
Her tummy started rumbling. Luckily, she’d fed Alfie before she’d left the shop. She didn’t have a lot of cash in her purse but decided to pop to the pub for a packet of crisps and a bottle of Coke. That might just stave off the hunger pangs until Max came back. Back in the car she shared the odd crisp with the ever-hungry spaniel, and then they settled down together on the back seat. She stroked his ears, the soft fur of his back.
She must have nodded off because it was dark when she woke. She looked out. No Jeep, no Max, no lights on in the house. The car’s clock read 10.20. Max must be out for the evening. Typical. She hoped it wasn’t going to be a late one. One leg was dead already where she’d slept at a funny angle, and ooh yes, now it was coming back to life with a fuzz of pins and needles.
Well, she was here now, so she might as well sit it out. Em felt a bit like a private detective in a stakeout. It wasn’t much fun, to be fair. It was getting chilly, so she leaned over and grabbed a blanket from the boot. A rather doggy-smelling blanket, but hey, needs must. She’d apologise to Max on that front later, but better than catching hypothermia. She found the ‘Sorry’ T-shirt that she’d quickly made from an old white T-shirt of hers and a permanent marker pen, before dashing off. She put the spaniel’s front legs through the armholes and he wasn’t bothered in the least. She’d thought it might make Max smile if she’d put it on, but at least it might now serve to keep Alfie cosy. The temperature at night cooled dramatically in Northumberland, despite it being summer. The two of them huddled together again.
It was the early hours when she next came to. Two-fifteen and still no sign of Max. No Jeep. She was sure she’d have woken anyhow if he’d come home. Even if he’d had a lift home with someone else or a taxi, he’d have had to walk right past her car. Wherever he was, he was staying all night. Emma’s heart sank. Had she got this all wrong? Had he already found someone else? Was she clinging to false hope?
She dozed intermittently, hearing birds tweeting away in the half-light at around four … yes, the world was still carrying on … And still no Jeep.
The sound of a vehicle pulling up next to her car woke Emma. She blinked her eyes open. It was now light outside, but felt early; that cool, grey morning light that came just after dawn. She checked the clock – just after 6.30. Was it him?
There was his Jeep, parked behind her. She pulled herself up from the back seat where she had been snuggled with Alfie. There was Max getting out of his vehicle. He looked jaded. He reached her car, looked twice at it – confusion and then recognition crossing his face. Emma gathered herself and stepped out, a little wobbly, her bedhead, back-of-car hair stuck out at all angles to her head.
‘Em? What on earth are you doing here?’
‘I waited all night.’
‘Ah … I’m shattered, Em. I’ve hardly had any sleep and I can’t even think straight. Go home. We’ll talk later.’ Max was walking up the path to his front door, his back already to her.
‘I’ve waited all night,’ she repeated. ‘Please, just let me say what I came to say … You’re wrong, Max. I do love you for you. I love your smile, your strength, the way you call me “Beautiful” in the mornings. I love the winter picnic on the beach you did for me, your thoughtfulness. I love that you like dogs, the way you work hard and the
drive and ambition you have to make your business a success. I love the way I feel in your arms …’ The tears had started crowding her eyes now and she was finding it hard to speak.
Max had stopped walking. He turned to face her, but he still had that stony, sad look on his face. ‘I can’t do this right now, Em. Okay? I’ll call you later.’
‘You promise?’ She felt like she was clutching at straws.
He nodded and carried on walking, unlocked his front door and went on in.
She watched the door close. She couldn’t bear to go, so she sat down on the cool dewy grass, and hugged the hoodie she had on tight around her. Right, she had to do something. Make him believe her. She wasn’t going anywhere, and she wasn’t giving up that easily. She saw a pile of red house bricks stacked at one side of the garden – he’d been intending to build a barbecue this summer and hadn’t got around to it as yet. Em started arranging the bricks into letters, words, filling the grass to one side of the front garden – the lettering facing the house. He could read it when he came back out, or when he opened his bedroom curtains on the upstairs window that fronted the cottage. No doubt he was off to bed now.
Where the hell had he been all night? That thought began to twist in her mind. Had he patched things up with his ex, Siobhan? Had he been staying over with her? Or someone else, someone new. Though 6.30 a.m. was a bit early to make your exit and come on home. Maybe they’d been ‘at it’ all night and he had to finally get some sleep before work. Her heart sank, a twist of jealousy wrenching it even more. No wonder he didn’t want to speak to her.
But she didn’t know the truth, did she? She had to give him a chance, especially if she was expecting him to give her a chance. She’d sit this out however long it might take. She’d give Bev a call in a while, once it was a more reasonable hour, to ask if she’d open up the shop for her. Her friend was going to be helping anyhow with it being the Bank Holiday Monday. She really should be there herself on such a busy day, but for once The Chocolate Shop could wait. She had a feeling that if she gave up now she might regret this for the rest of her life.
It was chilly outside, so Emma went back to the car and cuddled Alfie again to warm up a bit. He was still in his ‘Sorry’ T-shirt. Was there any chance that that might make Max smile now? Were they beyond all that? She felt so sad. In an hour or so, they’d go and camp out in the garden once more, she decided. In the meanwhile, she’d keep an eye on the house from the car and try and rest a little. She’d hardly slept, felt stiff all over and had a crick in her neck, but all that mattered was getting through to Max to explain, or at least giving it her best shot.
Time ticked by painfully slowly. Unable to drift off to sleep, Emma gave in and phoned her friend. ‘Bev, hi. Look, I’m down here in Max’s village.’
‘Oh wow, have you two patched things up? Thank God, that’s great news.’
‘Well, it’s not quite that simple.’
‘Oh?’
‘You see I’m out in the car just now … and he’s in the house.’
‘Sounds confusing.’
‘It is, but I can’t come home yet. We haven’t had a chance to talk things over. I so need to talk with him, Bev.’
‘Yes, of course. Do you want me to open up the shop for you?’ Her friend pre-empted her question.
‘Yes, please. That would be great.’
‘No worries. Holly’s coming in too, isn’t she? We’ll be fine. You do whatever you need to, hun. Don’t worry how long you take either. And hey, good luck.’
‘Thanks. I think I’m going to need it.’
‘I’m here for you whatever happens, Em.’
‘I know.’
It must have been an hour later when Emma heard a knocking noise. She stirred, confused – she must have finally dozed off.
Max appeared at her car window. ‘Emma, I was about to go to bed, I’m so exhausted, and then I looked out and – and you’re still here.’
She wound down the window. ‘Of course, Max. I couldn’t go without speaking with you … without trying to explain how I feel, at least.’
‘I saw your message in the bricks … thank you.’ He held her gaze, but she wasn’t sure what was there in his eyes. Sadness, lingering hurt, poignancy, love? Or was it lost love?
‘I do mean it.’
The message she had written was: ‘I love you for you.’
‘Yeah …’ He was nodding. ‘Look, why don’t you come in. Maybe it is time we talked.’ He still sounded subdued.
Emma got up out of the car, Alfie following her.
Max screwed up his face. ‘What’s Alfie got on?’
‘Ah, my T-shirt. It was meant as a gesture, something to make you smile … hopefully. But it was cold in the car, so I put him in it.’
Max did manage a small smile then. Boy, had Emma missed that smile.
They went inside, Max was heading for the kitchen. ‘Do you want a tea, coffee? Something?’
‘I’ll have a tea. Something to warm me up.’
Max put the kettle on and organised some mugs. The pair of them then sat at his breakfast table, both looking shattered.
The question was burning in Emma’s mind. Where had he been all night? But she didn’t want to risk this conversation by ploughing in sounding accusatory. And his answer might change everything. She wasn’t sure she was ready for that just yet.
He got up and finished making the tea, placing mugs before them both before settling down again with a yawn.
‘I don’t think we quite look beautiful and gorgeous this morning’ she joked, trying to lighten the mood.
‘Hah, speak for yourself. I’m looking as exquisite as ever, surely.’ His stubble was rougher than usual and his hair, though short, was ruffled oddly. She had to stop herself from running a hand through it. ‘Bit of a night, hey?’
And that was her lead in. ‘Where were you?’ She sounded afraid.
There was an awkward silence, then Max started, ‘With Nick Knowles …’
That name sounded vaguely familiar. Was he a mate of Max’s? Nick, Nicholas, Nicola – a girl? The cold fear was back. Ah, she couldn’t think straight after just a few snatches of sleep in a chilly car.
Max had a wry grin spreading across his face now. ‘DIY SOS ring any bells?’
‘You what?’
‘Yeah, I’ve been helping on that TV programme. There was this disabled lad with his family over in Gateshead in desperate need of an extension to their house and some renovations, so he can get his wheelchair around and have a little independence now he’s a teenager. We’ve made him his own room on the ground floor, with an en suite wet room and everything. It’s been two all-day-and-nighters. That’s why I’m so shattered.’
‘Oh …’ It was hard to take in.
‘Yeah, they put a call out to any local builders. Andy, my joiner, came along too. We had the weekend off for the Bank Holiday anyhow, and I wasn’t doing a lot otherwise …’ He paused and took a sip of tea. ‘It was brilliant – a bit crazy at times with so many people helping and the timescales are ridiculous – but brilliant, honestly. We all mucked in and the family and the lad are coming back this afternoon. They’re just finishing off the plastering and doing some decking and landscaping in the garden this morning, so I flitted off for a couple of hours’ kip.’
‘Oh my word, that’s amazing.’ Amazing that he was doing such a lovely, kind and special thing. And amazing that he hadn’t turned to the arms of someone else.
It was time to talk, really talk.
‘What happened to us, Max?’
He raised an eyebrow as if to say, you know full well.
‘Okay, so I know I did wrong with that crazy kiss. If I could take that back, to have never done it, I would. I never want to hurt you again, Max.’
He was looking down at the tabletop and from the set of his shoulders she knew he was still listening.
‘I will regret that moment until the day I die,’ she continued. ‘But I can’t change that it happened. And i
f you can’t get past that, Max, if it’s just too hard for you, then you have to be honest and tell me now, or we’ll just end up going on hurting each other.’
He looked up at her, pain still there in his gorgeous green eyes. ‘What’s been hard is not having you here, Em. Not coming up to see you, not sharing your life. Andy and the site lads have said I’ve been like a bear with a sore head these past few weeks. Nothing seemed right.’
‘Not for me, either.’ Emma’s lip was trembling. ‘Can we try to find a way round this?’
‘I don’t know Emma. I really don’t know.’
She couldn’t bear it. She had hurt him so much, she might never be able to make it right. Tears stung her eyes but she held them back. She’d said what she’d come to say, and here they both were, still stuck in the past, with their hurts.
‘Thanks for listening.’ Her voice was quiet but firm. ‘I think I’d better go now.’ She stood up while she still had some strength left to get out of that door, down the path and on past her brick message with her broken heart. ‘Come on, Alfie.’
Max didn’t stop her.
What now? Back to the shop, to Warkton? But she didn’t feel able to drive just yet with her emotions all over the place, fatigue making it all the worse.
One time when she had stayed over here, she remembered, they had gone for a walk down by the river through some woods. Fresh air and a stroll might do her some good, help clear her head, prepare herself for the reality that Max wasn’t coming back. But … at least she had tried.
She left her car where it was; she’d drive back to Warkton in an hour or so when she’d hopefully be calmer, and she and Alfie headed out through the village, finding the path that crossed a grassy field and wound its way down to the riverside.
Ironically, it was a lovely summer’s morning. Dappled light streamed through the branches of the woodland at the side of the river, bathing her in warm sunshine. Birds were tweeting away, and she spotted the grey figure of a heron, poised on tall, spindly legs, down by the water’s edge. He flew off majestically as they neared and Alfie found himself a stick, which he carried for a while then brought to Emma for her to launch into the stream. Alfie adored water and was bounding in and out with it on repeat.